Abby Rodman, LICSW is a psychotherapist in private practice in the Boston area. She has counseled hundreds of individuals and couples with relationship issues. Abby has graduate degrees from both Harvard and Boston College and her work has been featured in the Boston Globe Magazine. She is a contributing relationship expert for yourtango.com. Abby is absurdly proud of her three amazing, college-aged sons who grew up at warp speed. Her next book in the Little Books for Life’s Big Decisions series is about divorce and will be available in 2014.
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I've learned- from years of personal and professional experience - that problems in a marriage don't start when the rings are exchanged - they've likely been there, in one form or another, from the start of the relationship. With a nearly fifty percent divorce rate in the US, it's time for a proactive approach to happy marriage instead of a reactive approach - trying to fix what's broken in a marriage - when it may already be too late. I'm on a mission to get folks to really consider what they're getting into before they make the most important decision of their lives!
Book Genre: Non-Fiction/Relationships
Publisher: Book Tango
Release Date: August 19, 2013
Very few words, if any, have the power to change your life as exponentially as those two.
Whether you’re already planning the wedding or just considering his proposal, know that you are in the process of making the most important decision of your life. Sound daunting? A little scary, even? Good. That means you’re truly considering what it will mean to be married to this man. You’re thinking about what’s at stake in choosing him, forsaking all others, to be your companion, mate and lover through your one, precious life.
You know those movies in which the hero wakes up one day and finds he’s the only man left on Earth? Then, miraculously, he finds the one woman left on the planet living in some bombed-out apartment building? And, lucky for him, through all the dirt and torn clothing he can see she’s the hottest chick ever? And initially they hate each other but realize they really love each other and decide to begin their task of rebuilding the human race?
Okay, maybe getting married isn’t that dramatic but it’s not far from it. Either you choose the right partner to help you successfully navigate this strange, new world called Marriage or you choose the wrong one and begin your descent into unhappy-marriage hell.
With your “I do”, you will mark the start of the rest of your life. Your new husband will be the last man you’ll ever have a first date with, the last man you ever french kiss, the last man you’ll ever share a bed with. This man will be the father of your children and that’s an irreversible choice. You’ll slog through the everyday routine that is life and, if you’re lucky, that life will also be peppered with joy and moments of passion that make you both sigh and remember the good old days of coat closet sex.
You will know this man, if all goes well, better than you have ever known another person. You will share his fears, his moments of glory and his bathroom. You’ll also become expert at reading his moods, accepting his limitations and soothing his demons. Yes, he has demons. We all do. And if you haven’t seen your man’s yet, you will. Make no mistake.
No matter how you slice it, marriage is a gamble. Statistics vary but somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 to 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Let’s put it this way: Nearly half of you reading this book will get divorced. And if the numbers are that high for people who make the difficult decision to split, how many couples stay married and miserable? My clinical guesstimate is that you have about a 25 percent chance of ending up in happy marriage. Sweating, yet?