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Thursday, August 4, 2016

TurboJetslams:Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God by Jass Richards

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Book Genre: Fiction, Humor
Publisher: Magenta
Release Date: April 1, 2016
Buy Link(s):

Amazon | BN | Kobo | Smashwords | Indigo iTunes


Book Description:

You ever have a neighbour whose behaviour is so mind-bogglingly inconsiderate and so suicide-inducingly annoying that you just want to ask him, in a polite Canadian way, to please stop?

TurboJetslams isn't like that.

Jass Richards' new novel, TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God, tells the tale of one person's pathetic and hilarious attempts to single-handedly stop the destruction of a little piece of beautiful Canadian wilderness by the increasing numbers of idiots who couldn't care less.

A quick and entertaining summer read. and/or A perfect cottage-warming gift. and/or Boomer lit. and/or Sure to resonate with paddlers everywhere.


Extraordinarily well written with wit, wisdom, and laugh-out- loud ironic recognition, TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God is a highly entertaining and a riveting read that will linger on in the mind and memory long after the little book itself has been finished and set back upon the shelf (or shoved into the hands of friends with an insistence that they drop everything else and read it!). Highly recommended for community library collections. ~Midwest Book Review

Excerpt:

On the Monday, when she and Shiggles went for a walk down the lane—Shiggles liked to say hi to Nutter, Caramel, and Beast, but they didn’t go there on weekends when the Bullerts were up—they saw a new dog at the edge of the road. Right across from Bullerts. A big black one.
Correction. They saw a bear at the edge of the road.
Correction. Three bears.
Ah, she thought. A Teddy Bear Picnic.
Next morning, she saw that Bullert and his buddies had tossed a couple plastic bags of garbage into the bush, into the treed swath of land between the lane and Campbell’s road. The swath was actually Andy’s property, but she didn’t think Bullert realized that. It wasn’t his property, that’s probably all that mattered. Oh well, she thought, looking at the torn plastic bags, the scattered tins, licked clean, the packaging of various materials, torn and scattered, but also licked clean—let Andy deal with it. Problem is, he probably wouldn’t notice it. Since Bullert had dumped it across from his own driveway, not across from Andy’s driveway.
Which, by the way, how stupid is that, she asked Shiggles, safe in her arms just in case. Even you don’t like to shit in your own yard if you can help it.
He probably also left his barbecue grill outside. Yummy bits of meat and fat. What self-respecting wolf within a hundred miles would ignore that?
It happened every time a new seasonal moved in. They’d just toss their leftover food: hamburger buns, pasta, rice, wieners, vegetable soup— She’d seen it all.
Including a car battery. And a bag full of used diapers. But that was along the road, not beside someone’s cottage.
Thing is, would they do that in the city? She didn’t think so.
Then why do it here? Do they really not even consider the possibility that their actions might have consequences for others? Who might not see Mama Bear, or raccoons, in time to grab their Shiggles?
Maybe they figure it’s organic, it’ll decompose. (How slow are city raccoons?)
Maybe, like so many other things, being here, at a lake, in a forest, brings out the primeval in people. They think they’re in the wild. Where there are no dumps.
But where there are bears. And raccoons. And wolves, and martens— Anyone in the wild with an ounce of grey matter, let alone moral responsibility, buries their garbage. Or carries it out.
She put on the pair of gloves she’d brought with her and moved all the leftover garbage back onto Bullert’s property. Maybe he’d get the message.

Or not. The following weekend, late Sunday when the ATVs had gone, she headed out for a walk in the forest, using the entrance, loosely speaking, at the bottom of the hill because Frankie was at his cabin, getting ready for deer season, or duck season, or mastodon season, and although she had the legal right to use the road past his cabin, she wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation. If he was preparing for deer season, or duck season, or mastodon season, he’d be cleaning his rifles.
And she saw right there, just ten feet off the road and just two feet to the left of the path, four bags of garbage. What the fuck. Seriously?
She carried them back where they belonged. To Bullert’s property. Specifically, into Bullert’s screened porch.
The bears did their thing. The raccoons did their thing. There was a lovely mess to clean up when they arrived the following Friday.
And the hardware store was, oddly enough, all out of screen.
Right in the middle of blackfly season.


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Author Bio: Jass Richards has an M.A. in Philosophy and used to be a stand-up comic (now she’s more of a sprawled-out- on-the- couch comic).  Despite these attributes, she has received four Ontario Arts Council grants.

Her most recent novel, TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God has been called “highly entertaining … and a riveting read” (Midwest Book Review).  In addition to her Rev and Dylan series (The Road Trip Dialogues, The Blasphemy Tour, and License to Do That), which has reportedly made people snort root beer out their noses, she has written This Will Not Look Good on My Resume, a collection of short stories described as “a bit of quirky fun that slaps you upside the head,” followed by its sequel Dogs Just Wanna Have Fun.   “The O & D” was published in The Cynic Online Magazine (Sep 2011), two excerpts from This Will Not Look Good on My Resume have been selected for Contemporary Monologues for Young Women (vol.3), and Substitute Teacher from Hell was produced and performed by Ghost Monkey Productions in Winnipeg (2014).

Her worst-ever stand-up moment occurred in Atlanta (at a for-blacks- only club) (apparently). Her best-ever stand-up moment occurred in Toronto (when she made the black guy fall off his stool because he was laughing so hard at her Donovan Bailey joke).

Monday, May 2, 2016

Guest Blog & Book Tour: Interviewed By God by Beth Banning



Title: Interviewed by God - A Journey to Freedom

Author Name: Beth Banning

5 Things I Know for Sure

  1. When I meditate in the morning I have more energy than when I don't. How do I know this? Because of all the "low" energy days that I've experienced lately when I've been "too busy" to meditate.

With Interviewed by God just having been released there are so many things to do: write blog posts, keep up with social media, create business cards, plan book launch parties, and 1001 other things. With everything there is to do in relation to getting my book "out there," my meditation schedule has been a little more dicey than usual. But as I write this (yet another) blog post, I'm remembering that meditation is one thing I know for sure helps me keep going. So I'm recommitting to my daily meditation schedule right now.

  1. When I follow my inner guidance, my life is more peaceful, fun and interesting than when I try to "figure everything out" and make all the "right" decisions. While on my journey that I write about in my new book I've learned that there are no "right decisions" there are only opportunities for telling the truth about what you know and what you want.

What I mean by this is that I always know exactly what I want, what the best decision is for me, and the only thing that keeps me from relaxing into acceptance of this is the idea that I have to figure everything out by myself and that there is the possibility of making a wrong decision.

  1. When I consciously connect with God (what I call my source of inner wisdom) each day, I feel more grounded and connected to everything and everyone than when I don't. None of us are meant to be alone or feel lonely, and when I turned my attention to my connection with God, my life changed. Now I'm never alone.

  1. Ask for what you want. My dog has got the right idea about asking for what she wants. I don't know about you, but every dog I've ever had knew how to ask for what they wanted. When they want to go out they barked, when they want to eat they let you know it, and when they want you to pay attention to them they don't hide it. don't But what I love most is that they are never offended, discouraged, or depressed if they hear NO. They just go ask the next available person or come back and ask you again later. I love that!

  1. It's much easier to write when I stop thinking about it and just start doing it. It took me five years to write my new book and when I realized I was going to need to start writing blog posts again I was a little worried. But when I stopped thinking about it and just sat down and started writing, the words flowed out just fine. "Don't think - just do." - Horace :-)



New Favorite Recipe:
My beautiful talented assistant brought me some of these grain-free muffins and I thought I was in heaven. :-)

Coconut Flour Banana Muffin Recipe

Ingredients
3 ripe, mashed bananas
1/3 c coconut oil
6 eggs
2 tbsp of coconut sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 c coconut flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/3 c of finely shredded coconut
1/3 c mini choc chips (Enjoy Life brand is dairy free)

Directions
Combine bananas and coconut oil. Mix well.
Add eggs, coconut sugar, and vanilla and whisk until eggs are combined.
In separate bowl, stir together dry ingredients.
Add to wet ingredients.
Add chips and shredded coconut and stir in.

Transfer batter to greased mini muffin or mini loaf pans and bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until toothpick inserted in middle comes out clean.



Author Bio:

Beth Banning is a best-selling author, inspirational speaker, and spiritual catalyst who lives in California with her husband, their cat, and their six pound poodle. She was born in New York City and from a very young age could sense the feelings of people around her, felt kundalini energy running through her body, and experienced other unusual events that she didn't understand. The well-meaning adults in her life told her she was depressed and that these experiences were just her imagination. Growing up in this cloud of ignorance and disbelief, these gifts were buried and unable to flourish and so she was left confused and lonely.
As a young adult she recognized the same sense of confusion and loneliness in others and became passionate about helping people better understand themselves and those around them. Later in life she took this passion into her work with her husband Neill and co-founded Focused Attention, Inc. She has written numerous books, co-created the Pathway to Personal Freedom, and the Art of Conscious Connection Seminar Series.
After many years of integrating this consciousness shifting work into her own life and teaching it to others, she experienced a profound reconnection with God that turned her life upside down. This radically changed the way she perceives the world and functions in it. Beth now lives her life guided by her inner source of divine wisdom. She is committed to helping others discover this for themselves and fully experience the essence of who they truly are.

Author Links - 





Book Genre: Spirituality
Publisher: PuddleDancer Press
Release Date: September 1, 2014




Book Description:


Interviewed by God is an account of Beth Banning’s journey of spiritual awakening—her conscious connection with God and the lessons she’s learned along the way. From a very young age, Banning experienced phenomena that could only be called extraordinary: she’s received messages from spirit animals, felt kundalini energy awaken in her, and experienced dimensional shifts in her awareness that have allowed her to witness what only a few have seen. She was visited by totem animals, took ritualistic baths, and visited shamans and healers; she experienced ecstatic states and received messages; her ego mind began to battle against her higher mind. As she experienced her spiritual journey, a small voice within guided her. With doubt as her constant companion she continued to follow her inner promptings, which led her to higher levels of truth about her connection to herself and the world and reality as we know it. Written in a format in which the author is “interviewed by God,” the book is meant to be a mirror for the reader to reflect their own experiences back to them, and a gentle guide for those who are at the precipice of an extraordinary adventure and are either scared to jump or who hunger for answers and understanding.


Excerpt One:

Interviewed by God
Chapter 2, What is REALLY Real?
Pg. 11

God: Are you ready to get going?
Beth: I'm not sure why I'm writing about any of this. Who's going to care?
God: There are many people who are having experiences similar to yours and they're embarrassed or think it's all their imagination and are not allowing these experiences to blossom. There are others who are right at the precipice of these extraordinary, life-changing experiences, but they are pushing them away. These people need to know they're not alone and what they're experiencing is actually more real than what they thought was true.
Beth: They need to know that there is more to life than they are told about, is that it? They need to know that the world is much richer and more wonderful than they ever imagined.
God: Yes, it's time for people to know just how much more there is to life. You've already begun the process of transformation, and your experiences can help to guide them. I've heard you say you have had many unusual experiences. What do you mean by this?
Beth: Over the last four years, many things have happened to me that are outside the realm of ordinary human life. They come in different forms. I may feel them, hear them, or see them, but they are nothing like my previous day-to-day existence. Research has showed me that these types of experiences are not completely uncommon. On one hand, knowing that others have had similar experiences helped me at times when I thought I was going crazy. On the other hand, I mostly found that saints, eccentric geniuses or gurus in India were the ones having these experiences. There were only a few stories involving ordinary people like me.
God: So what has changed in your life over the last few years?
Beth: In short, I have gone from wanting to know everything, understand everything and control everything in my life, to a place of peacefulness and acceptance to a degree that I've never known. I don't mind now when plans change, or someone else thinks they have a better idea about how to do things. And I don't have to agree with or understand exactly what someone is talking about in order to hear what they're saying and be able to empathize with them. My whole being has shifted. As I continue to have these unique experiences, they change me and how I perceive the world in incredible ways. I've gone from an almost compulsive need to "know" everything to an acceptance of just what's going on in the moment, and a sense of calm trusting about the future.











Thursday, April 14, 2016

5 Irritating Things About Traveling

5 Irritating Things About Traveling
Traveling is one of those necessary evils that almost none of us can escape from. Whether for work or pleasure, it has become a part of our lives. Mobility has increased so much that nobody thinks about having to travel as something special. Most of the times traveling is fun. You discover new places. Meet new people. Learn something new. But there are times when it simply becomes a pain in the neck.
Image Credits: Li_sy, CC0
Among the many annoying things that you will encounter while traveling, below are 5 that you would rather not discover.
  1. People Taking Up (or spilling over) Your Seat
This little nuisance comes in many forms. You can choose and select which is your favorite variety. There is the instance of ‘bigger’ passengers spilling over the arm rest into your seat. These ‘neighbors’ could be large enough that their shoulders, back, chest and abdomen temporarily rest in part of your seat.
In transport which has a reclining chair, people in front of you can constantly keep their chair in a reclining position. It was not designed to be used in this manner. It obviously makes it difficult for you to move out of your seat, if you have this seat intruding into your personal space.
My favorite is when your side passenger uses your shoulder or head for their personal pillow. They enjoy their siesta while you worry about any contagious diseases which might be migrating as they sleep.


  1. Public Transport
Trying to figure out the public transport systems in foreign lands is like trying to figure out their ancient mythology. You could be forgiven for not knowing left from right, or for that matter, downtown from uptown. The change necessary for the fare is another common issue, as most travelers do not keep a handy stock of change as one of their traveling priorities.
In many countries, you have no clue where you’re headed. So getting down at the right stop is another challenge. True, by missing your intended stop and getting down someplace else, you would have a ‘real’ new experience. It is just a question of how much chaos can you take before you become chaotic yourself.


  1. Hidden Fees
There seems to be an unwritten law that the traveler and tourist in particular, is the chum. Airports are a favorite villain with their crazy charges. They love to nickel and dime their customers. They will charge you to use the trolleys in which you move your luggage around. They will charge you to park your car, for those coming to see you off. They will charge you for any extra weight in your baggage. I understand that they are running a business, but sometimes it all gets to a point that anybody would consider taking the bus instead.


  1. Tourist Hunters
These are those shady characters who will approach you out of the blue. They will act as your best friend, even though you have never ever seen them before. They will offer you advice and tell you the best place to buy anything under the sun. A guide is fine, but the scary thing is when these chaps are only interested in skimming money off the top for any ‘deals’ that they do involving you. I remember a shop in Hong Kong which had different signs for the same thing in English and in the local language, Cantonese. Basically they were opening distinguishing between those who could speak the local language and tourists. In the tourist places of India, it is not uncommon for ‘tourist rates’ to be far above the rates charged to locals for anything and everything.


  1. The Plane Talker
Beware this dreadful species. These are those ‘friendly’ people who will say ‘Hi’ to you even before you have taken your seat. They can’t wait to get a conversation started with you. It is as if they are feasting on your brains. These pseudo-cannibals will just not stop. It may begin innocently, with tales of their summer camp or first Christmas gifts. Then the horror unfolds. The tale takes many a turn and winds up god-knows-where. I have found that the best way to tackle these predators is to tell them politely but firmly that you would rather prefer silence. They will probably act shocked at your social manners. In the end, it is a simple choice. Who is going to be the fool tonight?


About the Author

Rohit is a frequent traveler. Having traveled in many countries, he knows that each time you take a step out of your house, it is the beginning of an adventure. How pleasant or wild it will be, nobody can tell. Maybe that uncertainty is part of the fun of it all. You can find more travel articles by Rohit at www.transindiatravels.com.

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